Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category
I feel somehow unscrupulous. I feel, in fact, nosey. Nosie?
Molech Rises:
Molech soon tired of the sea. He put the fish on his head and his mother on his foot and he swam across thirty oceans to the first land. When he came to the land he said, “This does not please me,” and so he ate the land.
He went to new land. In this [...]
On the seventh day of the waning moon, a small goat shivered and died. On the eighth day of the waning moon a flock of birds flew to the north-east through a sharp wind and ended up somewhere outside of Cleveland, which was at that time referred to as “over there”. On the ninth day [...]
So. The people who lived across the street from me, the MONROES, had dogs. They were not popular dogs. Next door to these people lived my friend BOB. Bob and his family also had dogs. There were a number of confrontations between ye olde Monroe dog and ye olde Bob dog.
Sadly, one day one of [...]
Before the gore and insanity, I would like to make note of something as fundumental as it is simple. That is, rabbits are very cute.
Forgive me for that.
Next, I want to discuss the town in which I grew up. It is a wonderful place, complete with many amenities that make it just like a [...]
Please, people. Do what the metaphor says. Don’t pretend you don’t understand. People are hanging in the balance – literally except for the balance part, which is too abstract to be strictly identified as ‘true’. If I said people were hanging over some gorge waiting to die, being circled by vultures, eyed by lions, etc: [...]
This is the story I like to tell when people bring up two topics: deep-fryers and/or dead animals they once knew.
Growing up, my best friend was the only girl amongst 4 boys. They were Catholic. They never owned cats or dogs, but they did have a pet raccoon for awhile. Now for the sad part: One day [...]
Warren G. Harding was right when he said, “Gosh, someone won’t know who I am someday.” Yes. That person is me. I have absolutely no idea who Warren G. Harding is. I do know someone named Warren, though. My recollection of him is as a smallish boy with glasses and bad skin. He stole my [...]
“God, my wife is leaving me, I keep getting terrible customer service, and I have these really long hairs on my nipples. What do I do?” said Michael.
“It’s true, God. Plus he has this weird mole on his inner thigh. Is that cancer?” said Sandee.
“Yes, it probably is.” God said.
The three stood there, each trying not [...]
After a mid-aisle tussle, the Tohts calmed, combed smooth their rumpled pants, and (making sure no one saw) whisked the broken pots beneath the shelves.
“I think someone without a degree can clean this up, ” said Michael.
“They probably don’t have a word for ‘broken’ in their language,” said Sandee.
They stood for a moment in contemplation [...]
